Well, they are all finally in bed! Actually, it went a bit smoother than I expected. Jeremy had to work tonight, so I was a little outnumbered! Dawn and Corey arrived mid afternoon, right smack in the middle of nap time. All the stuff they had would have not even filled a paper grocery sack. From the start Dawn was brave and showed no tears, even though she had never met us or the social worker that brought her here. She was the ever strong big sister. She was excited to see the girls and they went off almost immediately to play Barbies. I was very relieved, but then we realized that Corey wasn't going to be so amazingly easy. He was VERY frightened, and exhausted emotionally and physically. He stood at the end of our kitchen table for half an hour without budging. Jeremy got him a drink, but he was even too scared to take it out of Jeremy's hand. Jeremy set it on the table and walked away. While we pretended not to watch, he would steal a drink here and there, always quickly so we wouldn't catch him. He started warming up a little and I thought I would help him up onto the couch to rest. Jeremy turned on some cartoons, and I got him a blankie. Big mistake!! As soon as I took his shoes off, he freaked! I realized that taking his shoes off meant he was staying, and that was still scary to him. I put them back on, and let him get down on the floor. His cry was such a sad cry, and the fear in his eyes was enough to make my heart break a hundred times over. He preferred Jeremy's easy ways. You would have thought Jeremy was a professional! I was so impressed and so was the social worker. I was having a hard time not grabbing Corey and trying to hug the fear away, but I took my lead from Jeremy and took it slow. He warmed up pretty quickly after that. It still took him almost three hours before he let me touch him, but he was smiling and laughing within an hour and a half. By bedtime, he had let me bathe him, and tuck him in. The previous foster mom said she had had a hard time getting him to sleep, but he dozed right off in his new bed for me. That made me feel good. At least he felt secure and safe enough to sleep. He had a grand time playing with John, although sharing was an issue at times. We thought at first that he couldn't hardly talk, but I discovered this evening that he can talk pretty well, and talked up a storm to John. As for Dawn, I did catch her getting a little teary-eyed when she though no one was watching. She's a tough girl though, and I think that she'll adjust well. Her birthday is tomorrow, and we're going to make it as special for her as possible. Because of foster care confidentiality, I can't tell you their story. I wish I could. We don't know at this point whether this will turn into an adoptive placement, only time will tell. But even if they're only here for a few months, we will treasure the time we have. God knows, and He has a plan. I can't begin to explain to you the emotions I'm feeling. I've been overwhelmed and on the brink of tears for the past two days, and have succumbed to them several times. Jeremy and I just want to be used for God's glory, and we know that this is much bigger than us. Watching them tonight, especially Cory, and watching them relax and the fear leave their eyes, I know that this is what we were meant to do. This is our calling. Is it heartbreaking? I think Jeremy will agree with me that the answer to that is a big YES! But even if they don't stay very long, at least for now they will feel safe, secure, and loved, and we'll do our best to fill their minds with happy memories. Love you all and thank you to God Almighty who has for now blessed us with these.
