Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Hidden Hurts

A few people have asked some questions lately about Corey and Dawn. Mostly just wanting to know if we have gotten any information on how they are doing, etc. I thought maybe it was time to bare my soul a bit. We haven't heard anything since Corey left on February 21st. Now, that isn't any one person's doing. We haven't asked, and therefore no information has been forthcoming. To be honest, we've spent the last three months going through our own grieving process. One that has been difficult at times. I still have days when I cry, days when John David gets angry over it, and days when Kylie is just sad but can't tell you why. Probably the hardest part for Jeremy and I has been watching John David try to understand what happened. Just yesterday, the following conversation took place:

JD: Daddy, did you go on vacation?
Jeremy: We all went.
JD: We all went together?
Jeremy: Yeah.
JD: No we didn't. Corey didn't go. I wanted Corey to go.

It's little things like this that rub salt in the wounds from time to time, and I'll admit sometimes I just have to leave the room. John still refers to Corey as his brother, and he sleeps in Corey's bed every night. I think we have done a good job of not dwelling on the hurt. It's important to show the kids that our lives go on, and that they can be just as happy as before, especially with Luke on the way. It means so much to John to be having a brother. Sort of getting the brother back that he lost in a way. When Luke arrives here in our family, I think we'll all experience some healing. God's timing is always perfect. He knows just what we need. I think all in all, we have dealt with our grieving very well. The children's pediatrician even said that they had bounced back wonderfully, and that it could have been much worse. We've tried to spend our time making happy memories, and growing closer together. God's grace is sufficient!